Staying Strong During Chaos - A Letter to Military Families

Well, it has certainly been a week. So much to think about and adjust to. I sat to reflect and as the FRG leader for Carl’s Battalion, I felt that I needed to reach out to our military families, but I wanted to include all families that might benefit from the letter, so I decided to share it with you all. Please know that we are all in this together and I want everyone to know that we are ready to help should anyone need it. Don’t hesitate to reach out.

• Casey

Hello Families,

I hope my email finds you well and staying home with your families.  I apologize for any delay in getting my email out to you, but like many of you, there has been much to figure out over the last two weeks. 

The impacts of COVID-19 have been strong.  We fight fear, boredom, isolation, and anxiety on a daily basis. We are faced with new routines and different challenges than we have ever experienced before.  We are scared as a people, and concerned as a nation.  Even more, we struggle to predict the future as we try to decipher the truth.  

We are parents to children that don't understand.  We are children of parents that we fear will fall ill.  We struggle to make sacrifices that we don't readily see the outcome of value.  We try to persevere, we cut back, we cope, but we fatigue.

I want to remind you that you are NOT alone.  Though we cannot be physically together, our military community is strong.  In fact, our military families have more training to face these battles than most of our civilian counterparts.  When I paused to reflect, several pieces of hope came to mind and I wanted to share these same things with you.

As military families, we have been through so much and we are used to sacrifice.  We are used to the government restricting our abilities to choose things.  While at times this is limiting, it is essential for us to make these sacrifices for our freedom.  We are used to adjusting to change, new schedules, moving pieces, and handling the unknown.  We face these anxieties with courage and faith that tomorrow will come and we will be strong and ready to face the next challenge, having already met the challenge from the day before.  

Additionally, as military families, we are thankful.  We have the comfort of a paycheck coming every month and it is evident how meaningful that has suddenly become.  We are confident that we have resources to help us if we struggle.  We are so used to missing our loved ones, that we can even more appreciate the fact that most of us are getting more time together than ever before. 

During this difficult time, please remember you are prepared and you have possibly been through worse.  Our great-grandparents made sacrifices for our country during the world wars.  As military families, we have made sacrifices for our country during the wars that followed.  This war is a world war of a different type and magnitude, and our country can pull together to make the sacrifice it needs to win.   We are used to these sacrifices, and we can lead the way.

If you or your family are in need during this time, please don't hesitate to reach out. Remember that fresh food, good sleep, exercise, hydration, self care, prayer and meditation and even time alone can help bolster you and your families' immunity to stay well.  Do what you can to be healthy and extend yourself grace during the challenges of each day; you will get through this and we can help one another.  We are stronger together, even if from a social distancing length.

Keep running the race and keep the faith.  You are stronger than you know. We can do this!

All the best - from our family to yours,

Casey Benander

CELEBRATING FRIENDS

Good Morning Friends!

It has been quite a week at the Benander house with Carl’s change of command ceremony, celebrations, baseball tournament and first communion. We are blessed to have family visiting to joint in the festivities and we have enjoyed the time so much. It always amazes me the caliber of the families we engage with and the community we have.

On that note, we were also saddened this week to say goodbye to some of our long time friends, Sydney and Adam….and now Baby WILSON! When Sydney and Adam first contacted me to rent our home on Kelburn drive, they were dating and moving to Fort Bragg. I had the pleasure of speaking with Adam’s mom on the phone and she provided me with a great reference for Adam. That reference, however, came with a condition that I try to ensure he asked Sydney to marry him! Ha!

Fast forward life, now four years later, Sydney and Adam are married and have welcomed adorable little Wilson into their world. As they were moving out, I had the chance to hold Wilson and also finally meet Adam’s mother. It was an honor for me and it was fun to joke about the fact that she “owed” me for the engagement success and now her new grandchild :) We had a lot of fun.

Last night, Sydney posted this on facebook and it brought my heart joy:

Goodbye Fort Bragg, hello Fort Campbell. Fort Bragg will always be special to us. We got engaged to married to having our first son in this amazing home. Fayetteville, NC we can’t forget you or the 82nd Airborne! ❤️💙

Homes should be the place of security. The place you feel safe to live, grow, and develop as a person and a family. When we started Haymount Homes, we wanted people to love their surroundings and focus on loving their life. Adam and Sydney’s story has shown just that and we are grateful. Over the last few years, our homes have seen several proposals and engagements, so I know there is more fun in store!

Thank you again Baker family. Though we are sad to see you go, we look forward to your return. Remember, “All Roads Lead to Fayetteville.” God bless you, dear friends!!

- Casey

Rent for Good - Charitable Giving Contest

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

It is with deep gratitude that I write this post. We started Haymount Homes with the intention of investing in our community. Throughout the last few years, we have been continually blessed with amazing clients and community support. We have often been the first to know about our clients’ most important life events: think expecting a new baby, witnessing a new wedding engagement, or celebrating a promotion. We have been introduced to parents and friends of our clients’, given pardon during difficult repairs, and even been fortunate enough to grant our own level of grace through some of their difficult moments. The network of community gets woven stronger with each interaction and we feel the sense of something very powerful developing. We could have never imagined that this journey would be so amazing, and we are excited to see where it will lead.

In that vein, we are thrilled to announce our giving challenge to our amazing clients. We would like to know what local charity deserves your next rental payment. That’s right. We want you to tell us which local non-profit organization is doing the work that you think is making a difference to our community. From the submissions we will choose one winner and our family will donate 100% of the winner’s next rental payment to that charity.

Let us know who is doing the most good and who is out there making a difference in our community. Who is important to you and why? It’s up to you. We want to know and we want to help. Please email me with your submission by January 10th, 2019. We will choose our winner by the end of January.

“Christmas isn’t just a day, it’s a frame of mind.”

— Valentine Davies, Miracle on 34th Street

Thank you for all you have done for our family; we are beyond grateful. Together we are building a stronger community. We wish you the very best Christmas and the most blessed new year. We cannot wait to hear about your nominations!

- Casey

Anticipation of Christmas

Good evening!

I hope your Christmas season is going well and you are nearing the finish line of your “to-do’s”. I just had to write a little something that has been on my mind as of late.

The holidays are full of energy and also a time full of anticipation. There is much to do, much to enjoy, and much to be thankful for. It is easy to find ourselves rushed in the pace of all of it. I know personally there are a lot of things I want to do, but don’t always prioritize what is likely most important.

My youngest son, Oliver, is a quiet force in my world. Even though he was born into a midst of chaos (think moving across country 9 months pregnant), he brought a sense of balance and peace to our lives. Oddly enough, we always knew that there was a fourth child that was belonged in our family. We joke and say he “brought balance to the force” (thank you Star Wars).

Oliver reminds me to look at what I would otherwise miss. As the fourth child, he has learned to go with the flow. He has adapted to schedules, games, home renovations, and deadlines. He has been tossed in the car, scooped up from naps, and has played quietly at the sidelines of his siblings’ activities. I will admit to some lazy parenting at this point. Things that were once the staples of holiday traditions, such as trips to the pumpkin patch, gathering fall leaves, or meeting Santa, have somewhat fallen to the wayside. It’s easy to disregard these activities when you have games to get to, homes to fix, and work deadlines to meet. We can start to view them as “not that important.”

So when Oliver quietly approached me last week and asked when he could meet Santa, I had to take pause. I realized that he had never had the chance to visit Santa. That made me sad. His eyes were anxious with anticipation and that made me think; the holidays are so full of anticipation of what’s to come, that sometimes we miss what is actually already present. Here was Oliver ready to embrace a simple holiday tradition that I had overlooked.

I think my excitement often gets channeled into just being efficient. There seems to be “so much to do”, that the energy of anticipation gets transferred into energy of action. There is great discipline in taking that same anxious anticipation and slowing down to truly appreciate what already is. I know it is a bit cliche, but it was important to me to make that known, even if it was just for myself.

We did go see Santa, and it was amazing. We were treated to a night at the Cape Fear Botanical Gardens Holiday Lights (if you have not been, you still have time to go - it’s pretty incredible). Oliver was nervous, but excited, and he calmly told Santa that he most wished for a pirate ship. He also asked for confirmation that he had been a good boy. That was it. Simple and sweet, but totally perfect. Following Santa, we were able to visit Santa’s treat shop, take a caroling hayride and toast s’mores by the fire. It was fun to be together and just enjoy the holidays.

I hope you find yourselves in great anticipation of Christmas this year. The birth of Christ is a time to look forward to and celebrate without a doubt. In that anticipation, I hope you also find new things in your daily life that pop up as things greater than what you anticipated. Whether it be a silly quote from your child, a gesture from a stranger, or a kind word from a friend, I hope you are able to take pause and be in the moment. It is a struggle for me, but I know it is probably more important than anything else I am planning to do. Life happens in those moments; what we plan to do, doesn’t always pan out.

“..that sanguine expectation of happiness which is happiness itself”

— Jane Austin, Sense and Sensibility

Merry Christmas to your family. May the wonder of it all surround you and may you anticipate what is to come and cherish what you already have.

Casey

5 TIPS FOR THE BEST FRIENDSGIVING

I love Thanksgiving.  I think it is my favorite holiday.  I love that it centers around family and friends, gathered together to celebrate what we are Thankful for.  I also love that it doesn't focus around gifts, events, and other things that tend to create chaos in the holiday season.  Don't get me wrong, I love tradition and the bustle of the holidays, but there is something sweet about Thanksgiving being solely about the food and time we share together (well, and football :)

We started having a Friendsgiving about 13 years ago.  Due to the military schedule my husband was on, traveling 18 hours home just did not make sense.  We found we were not the only people that were stranded on Thanksgiving.  Thus, our Thanksgiving became one of the Thanksgiving Misfits so we liked to call it!  People who did not go home to visit family.

Over time, it has grown to include some family members that do travel to join us for Thanksgiving, and it includes anyone we know that might not have a place to celebrate Thanksgiving.  It has been one of our most enjoyable traditions.  This year, we will celebrate our 14th Friendsgiving and we have learned some great tips for success.  Allow me to share:

1.  Cook several, smaller turkeys

I like to cook several, smaller turkeys so they don't dry out.  When you are feeding a crowd, you tend to think bigger is better, but the smaller turkeys keep more moisture in because they have more bone to meat ratio...yum! It also allows you to carve them more easily and plate them in several areas for easy access. 

2. Farm out the drinks

Several of our guests do travel to join us and they'd like to bring something, but cannot cook it on the road.  Having those guests bring drinks is a wonderful way for them to help, without having to mess with cooking.

3. Don't Farm out the basics

I consider the basics of the meal Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Stuffing, Gravy, and Pumpkin Pie (you might add to this list but these are the staples).  I learned the hard way that you risk a lot when you tell someone else to bring one of these items.  They MIGHT change their mind and not show up with one of the staples of the meal, throwing you into a panic.  When this happened to me, I vowed never again to "farm out a staple" dish. I now respond - "bring anything you'd love to have or are good at making".  If you have more of the basics, it's a win!

4. Appetizers are key (but keep them simple)

Thanksgiving dinner is hard to time, especially with guests rotating in.  We make a lot of easy appetizers (think dips, cheese, crackers, fruit, muffins, bars, etc) for snaking throughout the day so the meal can be made without "hangry" people in the kitchen!

5.  Accept help and be Thankful for it

People want to help.  They see you as a host and feel that they want to be helpful to you.  Allow this and go beyond that, be thankful for it.  Sometimes I get bogged down in just trying to "get it done", which does somewhat miss the point of it all.  When I step back and allow the help to happen, I find I enjoy the time so much more. 

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

— William Arthur Ward

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, whether it be with friends or family.  It is my favorite holiday and I am thankful for the chance to share it with you.

Do you have tips for a successful Friendsgiving?

- Casey